Funny things i found!

I got this from one of the forums i joined just today. I don’t know if  I can post the link. Pm me for the link, i’ll give it to you

Beauty Contest Funny Answers:

Host: What’s your ideal age for marriage?
Girl: Uhmm… I am not sure…
Host: Hindi… Kunwari ikaw, more or less…?
Girl: Uhmm… more.

(crowd booing…)

Sige, Sige… Less, less….
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Host: If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant: Bocaue.
Host: Bocaue…? Why Bocaue?
Girl: Because it’s a magnificent place.
Host: Which part of Bocaue?
Girl: The Bocaue Rice Terraces.

(Banawe kaya ‘yon!)
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Host: Who’s your favorite author?
Contestant: Danielle Steele.
Host: Why Danielle Steele?
Contestant: Because… because Danielle Steele, I like best. Thank you.
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Host: How would you like me to address you?
Contestant: My address is Project 8, Quezon City.
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Host: What is your best feature?
Contestant: My graduation feature.
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Host: So tell us, why did you join this contest?
Contestant: Me? Join this contest? Why did I… That’s all. Thank you!
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Host: What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant: I want to be a successful Medicine.
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Host: Hindi ito boob… hindi ito tube… Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant: BRA!
—————————————————————————-

Host: What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant: Please come back.
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Host: What is your typical day?
Contestant: I think Saturday po!
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(Gay Contest)

Host: Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant: I think and believe na bilang isang bading…

(pause)

…Ano nga po ulit yung question?
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Host: Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant: (believe it or not she answered) …Si Melanie Marquez po!
—————————————————————————-

Host: What is your favorite motto?
Contestant: (after a long pause) I don’t have a motto eh.

(so the crowd starts helping her out. the crowd started saying, “Time is
gold! Time is gold!”)
Contestant: I have na po. Chinese gold!
—————————————————————————-

Host: If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how
would you do it?
Contestant: That’s a very good question. Keep it up. (then the girl
turns and walks away.)
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Host: Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl: JOSE RIZAL! (crowd starts laughing.)
Host: Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl: Hulk Hogan.
—————————————————————————-

Host: If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant: Uhmm… bumble bee!
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Host: What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant: My edge is 23 years old.
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Host: What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl: Between 24 and 25!
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Host: How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl: I’ll be 28.
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Host: Describe your special someone in three words.
Girl: Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host: Ok, sige…
Girl: In one word… MY LIFE!
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Host: If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl: Power of Attorney!
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Host: So you like reading, who’s your favorite author?
Girl: Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host: What works of Shakespeare?
Girl: Hindi ko po alam eh.
Host: But he’s your favorite…?
Girl: Eh… kasi patay na sya eh.
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Host: What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl: Drugs.
Host: Why?
Girl: Mahal eh!
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Host: Hey, I heard you almost didn’t make it, how did you get here?
Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant: Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did
you walk?
_________________________________________________

(Little Miss Philippines)
Host: Ano’ng gusto mo maging pag-laki mo?
Girl: Maging lalaki po

Credit goes to the original poster ^^